It’s the school summer holidays, and the whole family has been over for a long Sunday lunch. You’ve watched your mum or dad miss the punchline of three different jokes. You’ve heard the telly creep up another notch in the lounge. You’ve repeated yourself four times across the dinner table. Your daughter has whispered “Granddad didn’t hear me again” to you in the kitchen.
You didn’t really start the summer planning to think about your parents’ hearing. But here you are, putting two and two together and not loving the answer. This is one of the most common reasons families come to us. A summer visit, a Christmas dinner, a birthday weekend. The cumulative time together that makes the small things obvious, where short visits had previously hidden them.
The good news is that hearing loss in older people is one of the most treatable health issues there is. The first step is recognising it, and the second is having the conversation. Here are seven signs to watch for, and some thoughts on what to do next.
1. Asking you to repeat yourself, more often
Once or twice a conversation is normal. Three or four times a conversation is information worth paying attention to. The pattern tends to be that they catch the first half of what you said but miss the second half, particularly if your voice trails off at the end of a sentence (which most of us do).
Notice whether they’re asking for repeats specifically when there’s background noise (the kettle, the kids, the telly), or whether it’s happening even in a quiet room. Both are worth taking seriously, but trouble in a quiet room is usually a sign that things have moved on a bit.
2. TV or radio at a level the rest of the house can’t bear
This is the giveaway most families spot first. The telly is on a volume that everyone else in the house finds genuinely uncomfortable. Conversations happen during ad breaks because nobody can talk over it. The remote control becomes the most fought-over object in the house.
Often it’s the loudest person in the family who’s the one struggling. They’ve slowly turned the volume up over months and years, and their brain has adapted to the new normal. Everyone else hasn’t, and the gap keeps widening.
3. Avoiding phone calls
Phones are hard work when your hearing is starting to go. Phone calls strip out all the visual cues that we unconsciously rely on for understanding speech, including lip reading. So people with hearing loss often start avoiding phone calls without quite realising why.
Watch for it. Are they letting calls go to voicemail more often? Are they asking you to ring on their behalf? Are they cutting calls short with “the line’s bad” when actually the line is fine? Phone avoidance is one of the most reliable early signs.
4. Going quiet in group conversation
The person who used to be the loudest at the dinner table is now watching everyone else for clues. They laugh half a second late because they’re picking up on other people’s reactions rather than the actual joke. They’ve stopped joining in on family stories. They’re polite but quiet at gatherings they used to be the centre of.
This one is heartbreaking when you notice it, because it’s often the moment families realise how much the hearing loss has been affecting the person they love. Group conversation is hard for everyone with even mild loss, because there’s no chance to ask for repeats without slowing the whole thing down.
5. Misunderstanding and acting on the wrong thing
They thought you said something different, and they acted on it. They wrote down the wrong day for an appointment. They put the wrong amount in the slow cooker because they thought you said two pounds instead of two ounces. They turned up at the wrong restaurant because they misheard which one you’d agreed on.
When this happens once, it’s a slip. When it happens regularly, it’s a sign their brain is filling in the gaps in what they heard, and filling them in wrong. It’s exhausting for them and often embarrassing too, which is part of why they don’t bring it up.
6. Tired earlier in family gatherings
Hearing loss is genuinely exhausting. Concentrating on every word for three hours of a family lunch, working out from context what you’ve missed, watching for visual cues, pretending you’ve caught more than you have. By the end of a long afternoon, they’re knackered.
Watch for the moment they make their excuses and head home early, or settle into a quiet corner with a cup of tea while everyone else carries on. It’s not always about being old or tired. Sometimes it’s about the cognitive workload of trying to keep up.
7. Saying “what?” or “pardon?” without realising
This is the one families notice last, because it’s been creeping in for years. The little “what?” at the end of every other sentence, said almost automatically, without the person even being aware they’re doing it. Once you’ve started noticing it, you can’t unhear it.
If three or more of the signs in this list sound familiar, it’s almost certainly time for a kind conversation with the person you love. Here’s how to do it.
How to bring it up without it turning into a row
Lead with how it affects you, not with what they can’t do. “Dad, you can’t hear the kids any more” feels like a complaint, and it’ll land like one. “I noticed at dinner you missed a lot of what the grandkids were saying, and I really want you to enjoy that. Will you come for a hearing test with me?” lands very differently.
Lead with the test, not the hearing aid. A £35 hearing test (refunded against any hearing aids they decide on) is a low-stakes ask. It’s an hour. It commits them to nothing. Most people are willing to have a test long before they’re willing to talk about wearing hearing aids, so use that.
Offer to come. Drive them in. Sit in on the appointment if they want you there. Make it a normal Saturday morning thing, not an intervention. We see this work every week at our clinics, and most patients tell us afterwards that they wish their families had brought it up sooner.
Where to find us across South and West Wales
Carmarthen. Cardiff. Llanelli. Haverfordwest. Family run for 24 years. Hearing test £35, refunded against hearing aids. The first appointment is a proper sit-down conversation, with you in the room if they’d like that.
We’d love to help you and the person you care about take that first step.
[Book a hearing test at your nearest clinic.]
Frequently asked questions
My parent insists their hearing is fine. How do I get them to come in?
You’re not alone, and this is one of the most common conversations we have with adult children. Lead with the test rather than the hearing aid. Make it about you wanting to enjoy time together more, rather than about them having a problem. Offer to come with them. If they refuse outright, leave it for a few weeks and try again gently.
Can I book the hearing test on their behalf?
Yes. Lots of patients book through a family member. We’ll need their details to register them as a patient, but the appointment itself can be made by you. They’ll need to give consent at the appointment for any treatment, of course.
Is a hearing test really only £35?
Yes. And we refund it in full if they go on to get hearing aids from us. The first appointment is an hour of conversation with one of our audiologists. There’s no obligation to do anything else.
Do you offer home visits for elderly patients?
Yes. Home visits are £70 for a hearing test and £120 for ear wax removal at home, or £155 if they need both. Home visit fees are not refundable against hearing aids. Useful for patients who can’t easily travel to one of the four clinics.
What happens at the first appointment?
It’s a conversation more than a test. The audiologist will ask about their hearing day to day, look in their ears, and then run a series of quiet sounds and words through headphones. The whole thing takes under an hour. They leave with a clear picture of where they are and a chat about what (if anything) to do next. No pressure.
Will they be pressured into buying hearing aids?
No. We’re family run and independent, and we’d lose patients in a fortnight if we worked that way. Most patients take time to decide. Some come back six months later. Some decide aids aren’t for them yet. All of that is fine.
